When is it time to tap out of your miserable relationship (courtship)?

Today a lot has crossed my mind and this was one of the topics.So many factors fall into a poorly assembled/built relationship. The base/foundation is the KEY to a successful, loving, and nurturing relationship. When you get into constant arguments, the bliss quickly fades. It takes two to argue, granted. But what are these arguments over? When people argue, depending on level of maturity, there's always either a compromise, an apology of some sort, or nothing at all and things are just left as a "whatever" situation.
When's the proper time to peel away the pride?
I'm talking about that person is messing up to the point where it completely ends and the other person realizes what was taken for granted. By then it's too late, no?
I mean, if that person messes up badly or offends you in some kind of way, you expect an apology. Call it pride, call it stubborness... but at the end of the day you stop talking to that person, not because you stop loving them but because the lack of respect and show of love towards you is gone, and you refuse to speak until you see remorse. You wait and never receive that apology... so it begins that you never talk. When is too long, though? When should you initiate a conversation? Should you even initiate conversation at all? If there's no genuine care to apologize should your disposition be to let go and move on? Is going tit for tat (equivalent retaliation) a remedy? Cause that person doesn't apologize or talk to you then, you won't talk to them either.

At some point in this slowly decaying relationship make a mental list. The good and bad of it all. Does the bad outweigh the good? In that case, you need to reach a decision of loving somebody but learning to let go of them for the improvement of the quality of both your lives. At what point is it all too much? If you ask me if should you cut off that part of your life I would say yes.

Think of it as a limb that got a cut way back when. You thought the cut healed but in reality it never did. Slowly that cut will start to bother you but it's intermittent pain so you never notice the severity of it. The issue has gone on so ignored for so long, you've developed gangrene. Guess what you gotta do? CUT THE LIMB OFF. Why? To prevent that one infected limb from endangering the rest of you. Well, a diseased relationship with constant issues and arguments is the same. Here and there you may have big pangs of arguments and emotional pain but you ignore it. You either never resolve them properly or one of you just doesn't care anymore. However, over time you become emotionally vulnerable to constant pain. Not worth keeping it around to affect you more in the long run and completely consume you. You'll never have a healthy relationship in the future if you allow it to get to that point.

That's the reality folks. Fairy tales are only existent in movies and children books. Love covers a multitude of things but love DOES actually have a limit. No such thing as a perfect relationship, I can tell you that, agree to it, put it in writing. And yes, you should indeed expect the worse and hope for the best because as all imperfect humans we WILL fall short. But CONSTANT fighting and negative energy is UNNECESSARY in a relationship. And if you expect to be in it for the long haul, I see you making some drastic changes soon before you end up hating each other.

This quote: “problems are usually caused by faulty interactions that have gone on for so long that the root cause for the problems are unknown to the couple” I read and instantly agreed with it. We don't interact 100% with our significant other after a wihle. So what happens is we start off great and it all fades within the first year of a new relationship.

I know you try your best at first. Put your best perfume/cologne on, new clothes, get a cut every 3 days almost, women get “ya hurr did”, some shed weight, etc. ALL to impress the one you like. After 6 months, maybe a year when it's all said and done should this fade? How about the EXTRA effort you put in to care about the one you care about? Should the intensity fade too once you've achieved the ultimate goal of making that person your significant other? When that constant support bean eases off and lets go it causes a strain that we weren't used to anymore. Not saying we become spineless after a period of time, but... some of you become pretty damn spineless. And I mean that in the sense that you're so used to having that other person be there for you, caring, loving, and coddling you that you forget what it feels like not having that. So when the person settles in and knows you're in it for the long haul, they got you... time to grow the beer bellies, hair cuts once a MONTH, showers every other day, BUM status way of life. Why? Cause you love them they love you and their worst has become their best and vice versa. I mean, even with the “Archie Bunker” in our lives does the emotional support have to become a bum, also?
Earlier I read this and immediately related it to this article.
“Relationships might last longer if people continued doing the things they did to get the person in the first place”.
If ever there was a dollar for EVERY time I thought of this in recent years. So what's lacking? What leaves or gets pushed aside? I'll list them for ya...
Lack of:
GOD - His Word allows ANYONE to become better individuals for themselves and others around them.
Communication - Without it you're stuck like Chuck. If you can't keep a line of communication between you and the person you're with, I don't see your relationship lasting all too long.
Understanding - If you  don't have any... find some and fast.
Trust/Loyalty - "Not having trust in a relationship is like a phone with no service. All you can do is play GAMES"
Compromise - Don't meet someone halfway? Then you'll be looking at negative yards on the field, buddy.
Willingness to change flaws - Goes hand in hand with the one above. Change to better yourself and make life more enjoyable to those in your life.
Breathing room - STOP SMOTHERING.

What is in excess?

Jealousy - Everyone is jealous with the ones they like/love. But too much is ANNOYING. Knock it off.
Assumptions - Someone did you wrong before so now you assume everyone else is the same. STOP IT.
FALSE ADVERTISING (pretending to be something you're not just to bait them and hook em, then do a complete 180 once you're comfortable showing your true colors)
Face it, if things aren't mend-able or if either of BOTH parties aren't willing to cooperate, then perhaps it's time to “tap out” of the relationship. Check out mentally, emotionally, physically (if you haven't already done so) and do some soul searching. We're all imperfect and we ALL have ugly traits that can use a figurative face-lift. So before entering another relationship, fix yourself first, THEN can you go tell the next person what THEY need to improve on to make you happy.

With that said, I ask you... is it worth staying with someone that you love yet makes you miserable? Or should you learn to let go for the benefit of your sanity and future lives to be emotionally stable individuals?


Food for thought.