When is it time to tap out of your miserable relationship (courtship)?

Today a lot has crossed my mind and this was one of the topics.So many factors fall into a poorly assembled/built relationship. The base/foundation is the KEY to a successful, loving, and nurturing relationship. When you get into constant arguments, the bliss quickly fades. It takes two to argue, granted. But what are these arguments over? When people argue, depending on level of maturity, there's always either a compromise, an apology of some sort, or nothing at all and things are just left as a "whatever" situation.
When's the proper time to peel away the pride?
I'm talking about that person is messing up to the point where it completely ends and the other person realizes what was taken for granted. By then it's too late, no?
I mean, if that person messes up badly or offends you in some kind of way, you expect an apology. Call it pride, call it stubborness... but at the end of the day you stop talking to that person, not because you stop loving them but because the lack of respect and show of love towards you is gone, and you refuse to speak until you see remorse. You wait and never receive that apology... so it begins that you never talk. When is too long, though? When should you initiate a conversation? Should you even initiate conversation at all? If there's no genuine care to apologize should your disposition be to let go and move on? Is going tit for tat (equivalent retaliation) a remedy? Cause that person doesn't apologize or talk to you then, you won't talk to them either.

At some point in this slowly decaying relationship make a mental list. The good and bad of it all. Does the bad outweigh the good? In that case, you need to reach a decision of loving somebody but learning to let go of them for the improvement of the quality of both your lives. At what point is it all too much? If you ask me if should you cut off that part of your life I would say yes.

Think of it as a limb that got a cut way back when. You thought the cut healed but in reality it never did. Slowly that cut will start to bother you but it's intermittent pain so you never notice the severity of it. The issue has gone on so ignored for so long, you've developed gangrene. Guess what you gotta do? CUT THE LIMB OFF. Why? To prevent that one infected limb from endangering the rest of you. Well, a diseased relationship with constant issues and arguments is the same. Here and there you may have big pangs of arguments and emotional pain but you ignore it. You either never resolve them properly or one of you just doesn't care anymore. However, over time you become emotionally vulnerable to constant pain. Not worth keeping it around to affect you more in the long run and completely consume you. You'll never have a healthy relationship in the future if you allow it to get to that point.

That's the reality folks. Fairy tales are only existent in movies and children books. Love covers a multitude of things but love DOES actually have a limit. No such thing as a perfect relationship, I can tell you that, agree to it, put it in writing. And yes, you should indeed expect the worse and hope for the best because as all imperfect humans we WILL fall short. But CONSTANT fighting and negative energy is UNNECESSARY in a relationship. And if you expect to be in it for the long haul, I see you making some drastic changes soon before you end up hating each other.

This quote: “problems are usually caused by faulty interactions that have gone on for so long that the root cause for the problems are unknown to the couple” I read and instantly agreed with it. We don't interact 100% with our significant other after a wihle. So what happens is we start off great and it all fades within the first year of a new relationship.

I know you try your best at first. Put your best perfume/cologne on, new clothes, get a cut every 3 days almost, women get “ya hurr did”, some shed weight, etc. ALL to impress the one you like. After 6 months, maybe a year when it's all said and done should this fade? How about the EXTRA effort you put in to care about the one you care about? Should the intensity fade too once you've achieved the ultimate goal of making that person your significant other? When that constant support bean eases off and lets go it causes a strain that we weren't used to anymore. Not saying we become spineless after a period of time, but... some of you become pretty damn spineless. And I mean that in the sense that you're so used to having that other person be there for you, caring, loving, and coddling you that you forget what it feels like not having that. So when the person settles in and knows you're in it for the long haul, they got you... time to grow the beer bellies, hair cuts once a MONTH, showers every other day, BUM status way of life. Why? Cause you love them they love you and their worst has become their best and vice versa. I mean, even with the “Archie Bunker” in our lives does the emotional support have to become a bum, also?
Earlier I read this and immediately related it to this article.
“Relationships might last longer if people continued doing the things they did to get the person in the first place”.
If ever there was a dollar for EVERY time I thought of this in recent years. So what's lacking? What leaves or gets pushed aside? I'll list them for ya...
Lack of:
GOD - His Word allows ANYONE to become better individuals for themselves and others around them.
Communication - Without it you're stuck like Chuck. If you can't keep a line of communication between you and the person you're with, I don't see your relationship lasting all too long.
Understanding - If you  don't have any... find some and fast.
Trust/Loyalty - "Not having trust in a relationship is like a phone with no service. All you can do is play GAMES"
Compromise - Don't meet someone halfway? Then you'll be looking at negative yards on the field, buddy.
Willingness to change flaws - Goes hand in hand with the one above. Change to better yourself and make life more enjoyable to those in your life.
Breathing room - STOP SMOTHERING.

What is in excess?

Jealousy - Everyone is jealous with the ones they like/love. But too much is ANNOYING. Knock it off.
Assumptions - Someone did you wrong before so now you assume everyone else is the same. STOP IT.
FALSE ADVERTISING (pretending to be something you're not just to bait them and hook em, then do a complete 180 once you're comfortable showing your true colors)
Face it, if things aren't mend-able or if either of BOTH parties aren't willing to cooperate, then perhaps it's time to “tap out” of the relationship. Check out mentally, emotionally, physically (if you haven't already done so) and do some soul searching. We're all imperfect and we ALL have ugly traits that can use a figurative face-lift. So before entering another relationship, fix yourself first, THEN can you go tell the next person what THEY need to improve on to make you happy.

With that said, I ask you... is it worth staying with someone that you love yet makes you miserable? Or should you learn to let go for the benefit of your sanity and future lives to be emotionally stable individuals?


Food for thought.

Interracial dating... what of it?

What really distinguishes a beautiful couple from the next? When both skin hues are the same? What makes that couple more successful in love than the other one? That they're both from one specific race?
The racial concept of segregating wasn't just for bathrooms and schools. Nor was it for buses and water fountains. As a matter of fact, in the late 17^th century, the anti-miscegenation law was established to ensure that Whites and non-Whites (mostly just Blacks but amongst others were Asians and Native Americans) never mix.

A direct violation of the 14^th amendment and completely unconstitutional, right?

Well, 13 colonies thought otherwise. And although after WWII many tried to abolish these laws, it took time and a lot of states kept their racial partiality. We all know, even now a days the KKK and good ol' southern confederate flag owners are spawns of such.

I love the word miscegenation. The literal translation from Greek means to “mix races”. And you want to know what's funny? NOBODY walking this earth is a thorough-breed. Want to know why? Because at one point in time, every single person walking this earth had ancestors that settled ELSEWHERE in the world. And once that happened, there were races mixing from all kinds of countries. Whether it be Spaniards with those in the Middle East, England, Africa, etc. Or the English with Spaniards, Africans, and Native Americans. And vice versa.

Even more entertaining, are the ones whom CLEARLY are racially mixed themselves and still frown upon interracial marriages/relationships. I mean, there are BLACK Dominicans that swear they're as White as the paper you and I write on whom act as if they have not an ounce of African blood in them. Same goes for 80% of the Latin Caribbean countries. But the racial loathing doesn't stop there. The West Indies has their racism as well as Haiti. All of them being countries that were colonized by the Spaniards or English, yes... but also those same colonists although professing to hate a specific color, had relations with African slaves and gave birth to guess what ladies and gentlemen? What's known now to be “mixed” or “mulatto” came to exist. And you know what I can say about that? It was the BEST thing that ever happened. Because some of the most gorgeous people are the ones that are 100% biracial. (Not that a specific race doesn't have their good looking individuals, I'm just sayin').

Does that mean that there's something wrong with one dating their race or skin type? Absolutely not. You can date/marry whomever you want. The issue isn't that. The issue is when one person looks down or places someone on a lower esteem just because of the color of skin that persons significant other has. Since when has society come so far in the advancement of medicine, technology, engineering... yet so quick to set ourselves back to the 1900s of racial segregation and disdain?

We live in a society where Black women get mad at Whites or Latinas for “stealing THEIR men” (because apparently people still own slaves themselves?) Or Whites and Latins getting upset over another race “taking THEIR women”. Really?!

Let me enlighten you... The color of skin which you, you and I all have is ONLY skin deep. There is absolutely NO medical difference in the average White person that there is in the average Black/Hispanic/Native American/Middle Eastern person. We all have 206 bones, we all breathe oxygen, none of us are invincible, and we all bleed red.

But even if that doesn't help you out I'll explain a few hypothetical scenarios.

One White woman. 2 men.
One of which is also White, has a poor paying job, lacks motivation in life, and loses his temper often.
The other man: non-White, entrepreneur with a self-owned business, driven, outs God first in life, and embraces the fruitage of the spirit quite well.

Which one is a better match?

Blatantly, any person with some common sense would agree that the second man portrayed in the scenario would be the best match for the woman. A providing man, clearly mature enough to own a business, is spiritual and hard working.

Unfortunately, most people will stop at “non-white” and not go a step further. So, forget if the White guy beats his wife, or the Latin girl can't hold a job and stays in debt, or the Black guy doesn't provide for himself and his family. In all races there are those that don't do anything for themselves and there are those that overachieve. Unanimously, though, in all of them there is still racism. And God forbid you ever try to leave the ancient comfort zone of what's “right” to look for something better suited for you.

Many of you reading this, don't even consider yourselves racist. But then again, a lot of times you never hear half the ignorant stuff you say subconsciously without even noticing it's a direct jab at a specific race. No matter how many friends of said race you have. If you're married to someone of said race, etc. I Don't CARE. A racial slur is a racial slur. Even by playing around you're fueling the already wildfire-like situation.

All in all, society needs to back up off the interracial dating situation. This world has far too many other LARGER issues than to worry about different skin hues holding hands. Chances are, they only hate cause their relationships aren't as successful.


Oh well.

Authentic Relationships

What makes them? What constitutes a “real” or “authentic” relationship? What's needed in order to make or have one?
You know, it happens to all of us. We begin a friendship with someone, try developing a more intricate relationship and sooner than later it all falls apart. But, why?
There are 3 major necessities that need to be fulfilled and WORKED AT everyday when building a successful relationship that MOST of the time the average individual barely focuses on, hence the failure after failure effect. These three are: Communication. Trust. Understanding.
Look, if you fail to have any of these things as a starting foundation your relationship WILL, without questions or doubts, fail. It's the way things work in life.
If you don't communicate, you're never going to be on the same page. Not mentally and not emotionally. If you don't communicate your thoughts you can't possibly know what the other person wants or feels. These are NECESSARY inputs when caring for a relationship. Whether its a new or old relationship, fact is, it's still a relationship.
If you don't communicate then, there's lack of trust because you have yet to open up about anything. When you trust another individual you have the confidence to tell them anything. Now, having trust doesn't mean you EXPECT to be trusted but that YOU trust the other person. Touchy subject because, trust is earned. But when you see it fit to develop and work on a relationship, chances are there's already a certain level of trust there. With lack of such, a livable relationship is practically non-existent.
If there's no trust and no communication, then, there is no mutual understanding. You don't get them and they don't get you cause, well... let's put this candidly, there's NOTHING TO GET. When you understand someone, you can sense the underlying motives without having to actually see it or without jumping to conclusions. You can look beyond the superficial and relate to the reality of it all.
With that said, let us look at things that help build the foundation to the relationships we're trying to achieve, shall we?
Creating a relationship with others (be it romantic or not) starts with ourselves. A good relationship with our inner being and then, from that, extending it to others. Staying true to oneself and always committing to ones self-promises or goals shows the ability to commit to others. Psychologically, when we can make the effort to have a healthy relationship with our conscious and ourselves day to day we have a better chance at successful relationships with other individuals. Creating an authentic relationship with ourselves also proves to be a great foundation for an overall happier lifestyle.
When we approach others, or even when dealing with ourselves, what are our intentions? Are they positive? Or are they mechanical. Are our intentions on some kind of “cruise control” to which we don't really know the underlying cause of befriending others or starting relationships. Evaluating our intentions and purpose as to why we do things in regards to interpersonal relationships with those whom we surround ourselves with is important.
When you allow yourself positive intent in regards to a relationship keep in mind that once those two are accomplished the most important factor is YOUR decision to stay. This is the work that seldom is put into the equation. Once people establish a “relationship” their intentions are lingering but your thoughts are scattered. There is no real focus or plan of action. When staying in a relationship, there are still TWO individuals. Two points of view. Two DIFFERENT lives. Staying in a relationship means your focus is not only to make things work for them but to keep DOING YOU.
Also, when you're in a relationship, things must be allowed. When we are creating a sound relationship with ourselves, be honest with YOU. Likewise, we need to not only allow honesty from us to others, but allow the truth to be spoken freely from others to us. Openness is very important when it comes to a healthy and successful relationship and confrontation goes only as far as you want it to. Thus, allowing honesty in a relationship is only healthy if you're willing to a) see it as valuable and as truthful as the person relaying it to you and b) allowing truth to be freely spoken. Either one does not mean you're giving in to the other persons view but simply acknowledging the reasoning behind it. From there, you take the pros/cons and act upon a situation accordingly.
Another factor is ones set of values. Values come into play when creating the appropriate foundation for a relationship. They are the way we structure our life and how it is directed. Not everyone hold the same standards, morals, and/or values in their life so if you're trying to be in the relationship for the long haul, I suggest you reassess the whole thing and be honest with yourself as well as the other person about it. Truth is, a persons belief plays a role in their life like no other. When two people believe in different things, it causes an unnecessary strain that doesn't HAVE to be there. There are a few exceptions, yes. But for the most part it's un-leveled.
To wrap this up I want to make a few things clear. There is a difference in a relationship between infatuation, in-like, and in-love. If you're doing it right, it's in THAT SPECIFIC ORDER. Let's be honest, people. Nobody looks at an ugly individual and thinks “hmm I wonder how amazing their personality is”. Doesn't work that way because as imperfect humans, our motivation is through what our eyes perceive and for the most part (as shallow as this may seem) we tend to look at those dapper ones. BUT, 75.87% of the so-called “good looking” ones are either stupid, extremely superficial, d-bags, aren't going anywhere in life (aka not driven), immature, and/or have the IQ of a lima bean (stupid). CHOOSE WISELY. And when you choose, make it count. The whole “there are plenty of fish in the sea” crap makes a lot of peoples subconscious believe it's ok to date 'em and drop 'em as they please. I mean, after the age of 16 or so that game should've been put on the shelf and NOT intended for later use. So my point is, GROW UP, be realistic with what you're looking for, when you find it make it work to the best of your abilities, and slow it down... DON'T rush into a relationship.
Everyone can make a few changes so with that being said I leave you with my favorite attachment to anything in life... a quote.

“There is no health, no growth, and no
aliveness from a place where change is not an option.”

Humility

Sometimes it is forced upon us in a moment of distress in life

At times it's a gift to us from the moment we are blessed with life

Through all the stresses and strife do we find ourselves humbled?

Or have we succumb to pride and even to lower our heads we've crumbled -

Without Humility.

Even the word itself bears great power, deep emotion, and wonderful responsibility

Within the vicinity of modesty don't cower because with that, shame responds infinitely

There's no respect in those that can't own up to their own faults

You have to learn to claim your wins when a win but take your loss as a loss

With Humility...

Is it so difficult the transition? A moment gone wrong to us accepting our mistakes?

How easy it all becomes opaque and the meaning behind it all we so quickly forsake

Accept that glory is only for an instance and things fade far past our “once was” ambition

Keep in mind, nothing is more beautiful than the greatest at heart living humility right to the definition

Family Bond

In the realms of family there are those so far and so distant

If blood is to be a bond then truthfully we're only half existent

Not so much as a shadow of you remains in my memory banks

I can only draw blanks when I attempt to reminisce our lives if ever together

What we had was nothing - never - turns into thoughts of what we could've had

If we didn't share a dad you and I would simply be strangers

This lost love has endangered the bond of family we can't seem to achieve

So many years have came and went and every day is still hard to believe

That you can't perceive the meaning within a family bond

Is it cause we're not strong enough individuals in this dealing?

Or is it cause we weren't born from the same womb so there's no residual feelings...

I try to be the better of my being and yet we're two magnets of the opposite kind

We can't seem to see each other in a similar light because our hearts are so blind

I simply find myself trying to be the best half I could be

You won't allow me to be a part of your life, completed

Now your children are in the canvas too and to them I'm just a name depleted -

Of it's standings. I know it seems I'm rambling but I just had to share what my mind was on

I hate that we're half siblings and all I aspire to have with you is a better family bond

Loss of Love

Frustrations are temptations held back and true to this

We loved too deep for too long so the fact of the matter is

You promised many things in the latter of tomorrow and a distant time

It was all so sublime - until now

Cause it seems like what was once in your mind somehow is gone

To think I was so fond of you

And intertwined was us embellished with trust

It was more than just lust but somehow this love lost it's pleasant touch

Sweet nothings mean everything when you're blind to reality

There is no normality between to beings that carry this bond

Lies are missed and twisted dreams of selfish inflictions wrap around my wrists

I never thought that this, this was the end of our I love you more's but it seems as though -

It is. I never meant for things to end like this but I feel you can't fulfill my bliss

I just sit and miss the honesty of your eyes

Your good byes are colder than the winter wind and I feel as if the ice has thinned-

between us two. Should I fall through, your reaction, is it to catch me when I do?

After all, when true love exists there shouldn't be a descent between us two

I would have spent forever finding new ways to keep you for another day

Quiet are your words, because against the truth you have no defense and nothing to say

To my dismay you hold no regrets for untruth and in silence you remain

One day, unknown still, I'll bet that the ability to love again I will regain...

Loving Looks

I wish you could see me and not fall in love with my brown eyes

Try to focus on my words instead of my lips moving when I say “hi”

Uninterrupted attention of true worth

Seeing as though you were attracted to my looks first

I know you're a man in search of a good find

Soft skin a nice smile mixed in with a nice backside

Hey the truth is the truth there's nothing to hide

But you can't marry looks with no thoughts in mind

Men are hunters in this game us women are prey

When your heart's not in it it's nothin but play

Women get caught up too thinking these men are fools

They know more than you think so quit playing it cool

You see, maturity is only evident when you allow yourself to learn

There's a reason the other ones failed; so accept, meditate, & discern.

However, once you find the one for you, make sure you never fail

Love is imperfect and struggle-filled, nowhere near a fairy tale.

Keep a positive mind, read their soul, and study love like a book

Truly there's nothing worse when you're caught up in "love" but only loving looks

My list of GREAT reads!

... in case you wanted to read other things than just my random poetry.

Below is a list of MY personal favorite bloggers/columnists/writers.

ALL VERY TALENTED AND ALSO ENTERTAINING.

I hope you enjoy!! (:

First up is my personal friend and highly opinionated (yet correct more times than none) Mr. Wright. Always has enjoyable pieces so I'm sure you will also find it enjoyable if you don't mind some added honesty with your truth serum. http://mdwright212.wordpress.com/

Next up is a new one shown to me earlier http://diehipster.wordpress.com/ which is a nice twist to blogging. This one is mainly for those that don't get offended easily. Especially those from the (well... now that I think of it, all of these aren't meant for those who get offended easily)

When it comes to Latins and their culture, many may not understand because a lot of people are narrow minded, misinformed, or have dealt with some not-so-friendly Latins. However, in regards to this blog, those that ARE part of the global Latino culture and those whom aren't alike can benefit from this great site composed of diverse Latin writers and/or bloggers. So check em out @ http://beinglatino.wordpress.com/

Also newly acquired piece of readers gold if you will would be from this next one. Great advice on just about anything coupled with a nice helping of honesty (which is what all these suggested findings have in common). http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/

Another friend of mine trying to push the positives that come from those brought up in urban environments. From spoken word to art galleries, Art & Hustle is pushing limits in a GREAT way which makes me a proud sponsor. If you thought it couldn't be accomplished, they will do it if not already. So go and support them, especially if you live in the South Florida area!! http://artnhustle.com/blog/

Last but not least... FOOD! I know we all love it lol Therefore, I left the best site for last. My close friend and amazing chef, Keith, has literally traveled the world to create the most authentic yet unique foods equipped with his very own recipes. If you love to cook, feel free to explore! If you don't, pass the recipes along to those you know from: http://keithlorren.com/

Again, these are my personal fave's so if you don't necessarily like a particular one, that's fine too... I guess ha

Feel free to share any sites you find interesting below in the comments!!

Life...

I love taking a moment to analyze life. The people in it or lack thereof. My family and my friends. The abilities that I have as a person and the weaknesses. My confronting of these as well as embracing. There are people that will hurt you in life and people whom you will hurt. There are those in a lifetime you wish to keep near you and those that you can't be near for a lifetime. That's the way things are. Do I have regrets? Not anymore. I've learned to take my mistakes and turn them into lessons learned. Do I make those mistakes often? Unfortunately, I many a time do. Does that mean I'll never learn? No, it just means I need more focus to not commit those mistakes again. Those imperfection and slip ups. I'm not happy with a lot of my past but I a have a proud outlook on my future. I never judge anyone, even if I know them first hand. I speak out on things that may or may not relate to myself or people in general. If it strikes a chord, it is what it is. My intentions in life are never to offend, but often times the truth does. I've come to accept that first hand. I hate having to let go of a good friend because things go sour. Or to fight with a loved one in family. I wish life gave everyone the ability to swallow pride, act in confidence, feel emotion, and most importantly... think before speaking. There are things I've done/said that would be better off not existing in history but those are things we live with. I'm proud of the person I am today, but I accept my many faults and still to this day, fight many demons. I rely on God to continue molding me into a better person. That my family continues to show me the strength in reliance of those which we love, that my friends forgive my shortcomings, and that both never expect anything short of great from me because they deserve no less. I love everyone I have the pleasure in meeting. Because everyone I know has influenced my life. Whether it has been pleasurable or bitter-sweet, an experience is never forgotten, often minded, and always useful. If I can make peace with those I've hurt, I would. If I may continue building strong friendships, I will. If ever a day has gone by without the thought of those which fill my heart with joy, I've perished. Life is a gorgeous gift with surprises, good and bad. We just have to find out which ways we're going to use them and how it can better our lives as well as the lives we touch.

Prefiero Estar Sola...

Si pedia que no me hablen dejaria tu de hablarme?

En vez de ayudarme y venir a rescatarme?

Si pedia que no me escuchen dejarias tu de escucharme?

En vez de cosolarme diciendome que mis problemas tambien son importantes?

Cuantas veces yo e pensado pero quizas tu no lo piensas

Que mis noches son llenas de dolores y mi corazon de tristezas

Inmensas son las gotas de agua que caen de mis ojos

Una cuchillada de amor que solamente deja mi alma en trozos

Diras, a lo mejor, que la locura mia es de repiente

Pero si supieras cuanto es que mi corazon siente

Ahora de meses atras no te convendria que mientes

Pienselo bien los momentos de amor perdido

De tu parte cometido y sigues con tu emocion finjido

Yo te impido que me sigas usando como una flecha lanzada en lo oscuro

Usando mi corazon para lo suyo y jamas pensando en el dolor causado agudo

De hoy en adelante triunfo yo encima de los dias sufridos del ayer

Dejare mis ganas de amarte y jamas permitir, de mi parte, lagrimas caer

Un dicho que siempre recordare y hoy en su honor lo actuare con gana

Es que estaria mejor sola que mal acompañada.

Enduring Mental Asphyxiation

Head held under water unsteady

Felt peaceful but I'm forgetting already how

Easily this all came crashing down

Found in the depths of my soul is agony

Pain and cries of profanities pass thru me

Yet I carry my head high admirably

You, you, or you don't know my struggles

Puddles of relentless days and restless nights

Frequent fights with inner demons I catch sight of -- freedom

Who said it was easy gasping without any air?

Life is always unfair to the ones that keep their eyes closed

Blindfolds fool them and sweet nothings are what rule them

Stemmed lies with grasps so hard it'll bruise 'em

But where's your mind? Taking it's time-- to retaliate?

Here I emancipate my inner being

I will forever gladly take the stand for my inner thoughts freeing

The Man I Love

My man would never have to buy me flowers to show me love

Simply forever shower me with countless smiles and heartfelt hugs

And whisper me those 3 power-ful words I long to hear of –

My man would never have to wonder if my love for him is voiced

For he'd know that simply staring in my eyes he can see my soul rejoice

Every time I say 'I love you' is not just an option but my hearts only choice

My man would never be perfect but being perfectly imperfect is fine with me

I'm not always the best of myself and yet he manages to love me how I need

And I think to myself how blessed I am to have him in my life as my better being

My man will always be my hope, my inspiration, and my soul

Regardless of hard times, trials, arguments, and life's many taken tolls

He is my heart and forever with me, anxiously waiting what our tomorrows unfold.

To Be Honest...

The truth lies beneath your lies

Even your eyes can't hide reality

Buried deep is my sanity I lost months ago

I foretold this would happen in my mind I replayed

“Have faith” I would tell myself but you never changed

You stayed pointing finger when your hands unclean

I've already seen this episode of you blaming me

I can't keep having tears fall and run down my face

That story “your heart's safe” was never true

I'm a disgrace for believing you...

It's not that I lack trust in men but in your words I can't rely

Not one “I love you” was an honest reply from your lips

Taking sips of untold secrets are we?

Pain drips from my soul I've gone too far, see

I thought I had a handle on the issue, went with the motion

But really I had a candle lighting my way in this lie filled ocean

I doubt my heart will ever be the same looking forward

However tragedy befalls us all and you're where it's headed towards

I know revenge isn't mine, I leave it up to the Creator

But I hope your last lie was tasteful since you'll be eating it later

Can women be blamed for the death of chivalry?

For years the term “chivalry is dead” has been used by both men and women. But no one person can pinpoint as to why, who, or what killed it. As the feud between men and women continue, there is always a finger pointed from one side to another and nobody takes the blame.

For those who are absolutely clueless about the origin of chivalry, I'll break it down for you. Chivalry began in the Middle Ages, and was actually the sum of rules and customs for the institution of knighthood. However, over the years the meaning took a turn towards a more romantic and moral cause. Although the meaning has been slightly altered, the fact still remains that the man is a hero to those in the female population. Not out of a need for attention or even that of affection, simply an act of “chivalry” to where a woman feels in the presence of a true gentleman.

But enough about the history lesson and the sob story. The truth is that the debacle still continues whether it's the male population's fault for the drastic kill switch or maybe women are to blame or MAYBE it's all just a fantasy. Let's wander down each avenue to recap some things.

Men, aren't all created equal.

So to sit here and say that all men are selfish pigs would be a lie; Saying that they're all the perfect gentleman is also false. Remember that morals are instilled in a man when he is young. To which most men grow up with the teachings of their fathers that showing emotion isn't “manly” or the definition of a man is to be desensitized of weakness. Now, some men disagree with this, and to you, congratulations. You're far and few in between. I'm not saying cry at every chance or drastically pour out your feelings (unless you want to, then that's all you). However, there are a set of standards to certain things. Anything in excess is bad, remember that. If a man is raised by his mother (or a chivalrous father) then the boy would hopefully grasp what has been taught and apply it into manhood. Unfortunately, not everything goes quite like this and so there is quite the division between those whom still apply chivalry and those who can give a damn because it's a waste of time. Why? Well, that leads us into the next analysis.

Women. There can be A LOT to go with here.

But I'll just stick to the main three points.

First, women want to be independent yet they want to be catered to at the same time. In essence, they want their cake, eat it, and then some. Secondly, some women have been dealing with the wrong kind of “men” therefore they give up on believing chivalry even exists at all. Thirdly, you have women that confuse every gentleman that comes along with chivalrous acts as “gay”, “weird”, or “flirting”. So let me set something straight, ladies, if you feel a TRUE gentleman is endangering your state of independence, you're immature and your perspective on life needs to change if you ever plan on finding a real man of values and character. Those that are attracted to “bad boys” expect a guy with poor morals and little respect for what a true gentleman stands for. And to the women that think it's weird or a flirtatious act because a man holds the door or actually says hello as he enters a room, either one: GET OVER YOURSELF or two: APPRECIATE IT and stop making the few men that show women respect regardless of physical attraction regret their actions.

All in all, more men need to step up their game when it comes to acts of chivalry even if it's starting off with simple things (ie holding a door, pulling out a chair, etc). The few that already practice these, keep it up 'cause believe it or not you're appreciated and noticed. And for you women, learn how to live balanced and show gratitude for the men that go out of their way to act heroically for the opposite sex. This is all easier said than done, but I have some hope if everyone started to actually compose themselves as adults.

Emotional Cataclysm

Flirt with death

Make love to hate

Penetrate through thoughts --

Of destiny and fate

Misplaced are emotions

Depths surpassing Earth's oceans

And I, I'm the keeper of my un-proportioned imagination

With severe inflammation of rages

I turn the pages of this book called reality

Faces of despair wearing masks of confidentiality

Sealed lips taking painful sips of sore contemplation

Grips the mind with a choke hold and binds mental heavy rotation

Deliberate sensations of darkness confine thee

Is it me? Are my heart and cerebral desires combining?

Allowing me-- to kiss the lips of loathsome findings?

Let me stare into the face of my existence reclining

I have embraced the past and today as the present

I've retraced the unpleasant and now fear the future

Everything is unsure with tight woven doubts like surgical sutures

Complimenting my current state of reminisce

I ask, why is my happiness forever missed?

I realize that I am my own fabricator of anti-bliss

I fight and miss failing to let go of the hands grasping distorted memories

God, will I ever be free? Be normal living with these re-consumed feelings?

My emotional cataclysm, death by perfused mental bleeding

Pleading haunted thoughts, allow them to rest in pieces

Laying in the soil where a grim hand now slowly releases

Process of Devastation

Have you ever been told news so shocking, you feel as if life has paused? Your body reacts like it's about to shut down. Your heart, it pumps ever so slowly, you hear the pulse rate dropping faintly in your muffled ears, and your entire body feels an immense gravitational pull towards the ground beneath your feet. Your legs and knees can't take the pressure, you feel the urge to sit down due to an innate fear of collapsing. A knot forms in your throat and your eyes water but seem to be the only thing defying gravity.

You begin to ask yourself repeatedly in various ways "can this be happening?" "is this for real?" You simply feel hopeless. Out in the dark, pounding ocean with no life-line. No light to find your way. Just lost in a grand, vast space with absolutely no answers or direction.

You're overwhelmed and distraught. The more you compensate by letting go and being positive, comes back the negative with a stronger grasp. It holds on and replays itself in your mind. It consumes your every thought.

Then, you realize "God, it shows!" Breaking through the inner war is the outer expressions. Now you feel compelled to force these emotions far beneath the surface. Submerge them into a solemn corner of the mind and hide one's over-powering reaction to express these feelings of unexplained guilt, depression, and sadness.

You struggle. A never ending battle of the mind. You only wish to let free the large portion that consumes and penetrates your every positive thought. HOW?!

You lay awake at night, restless. Every single time you attempt closing your eyes, images good and bad flash like a projected movie that displays in small concise portions of similar scenarios. It's branded in your mind and memories. This battle continues to grow; spreading it's poison to the deepest parts of your soul. Your heart has no more emotion. It is sad, but can no longer cry. It's happiness has been erased. It's anger is aroused only to create the sadness once again. A vicious cycle that one tries to escape, but finds themselves in exhaustion and realizes there is no such energy to do so.