Underestimated...
Descend to then be eliminated
Who you are is no longer self-infatuated not preliminary
Your mind is a sanctuary -- that crumbles
Tried to surpass it then fumbled
You mumble, under your breath yet you stay tested
Day in and day out, no resting.
Just festering in your failures.
Your whole life tailored to calamity and shame
Only know to blame -- yourself
You ARE the cause, plausibly
The fault is mine and we intertwine in mistakes
It makes perfect sense now
This emotional fence is holding nothing back
The simple fact is that you and I
We're never to be rectified or fixed
Just stuck in sick and insane
This insanity is a shame that befalls us both
Here, I propose...
Let us agree to disagree
For the sake of you and me
I ask this please, I plea
Allow the unhappiness to separate us happily.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Realize
Traumatic when you feel you’re harder than concrete silent and still beneath your feet
so discreet self consumed influential poison commencing secretion
viral infection has you sweating like you’re in the hot seat and
drain-exhaust all sources ‘til you show signs of depletion
emotional break down ‘til your hands and knees meet
the searing ground of vicious cycles;
look under you, square one again lost in a maze of your own illusions
mirages of what should be but isn’t brings your mind to seclusion's
and benighted corners in hell where you feel the fires brewing
deep in your thoughts forever consuming
distant pleasures of desires in both past and present affairs
future’s out of the question living day to day wondering if the pleasant will ever arise again
or will the worst of yesterday succumb tomorrow like it has ever since forever ago
because it’s one thing to live in a life with random delays of attractive situations
and relays of the positive instead it’s habituation's
of the downpours within imperfection, fighting demons of the flesh taking their best shots
to see you rise and fall until you are caught
in a web of self destruction blind folded by blood from the painful tears shed day by day
all you ask is for a simple ray of sunshine to brighten up your mind
but instead the self willing seems selfless
and those not helping seem selfish
the world no longer exists and you’re helpless
trust no one are the only words you live by
but you forget one is also you and within your own abilities is the will to do an action of survival
bypass the destructive mines in your relentless recollection of nightmares
through memories but as hard as the concrete you fall on creates pain consider it the regain of intensity to become greater than that of which sat you out on the bench and just like the army
be all you can be, only this war is within your own self try to flourish inner peace
and allow the victory of re-conquering your mind heart and soul succeed
yes, allow you the freedom of not being imprisoned by dark holes of deception
instead strive, retaliate grasp the life in your life realize the reconnection....
so discreet self consumed influential poison commencing secretion
viral infection has you sweating like you’re in the hot seat and
drain-exhaust all sources ‘til you show signs of depletion
emotional break down ‘til your hands and knees meet
the searing ground of vicious cycles;
look under you, square one again lost in a maze of your own illusions
mirages of what should be but isn’t brings your mind to seclusion's
and benighted corners in hell where you feel the fires brewing
deep in your thoughts forever consuming
distant pleasures of desires in both past and present affairs
future’s out of the question living day to day wondering if the pleasant will ever arise again
or will the worst of yesterday succumb tomorrow like it has ever since forever ago
because it’s one thing to live in a life with random delays of attractive situations
and relays of the positive instead it’s habituation's
of the downpours within imperfection, fighting demons of the flesh taking their best shots
to see you rise and fall until you are caught
in a web of self destruction blind folded by blood from the painful tears shed day by day
all you ask is for a simple ray of sunshine to brighten up your mind
but instead the self willing seems selfless
and those not helping seem selfish
the world no longer exists and you’re helpless
trust no one are the only words you live by
but you forget one is also you and within your own abilities is the will to do an action of survival
bypass the destructive mines in your relentless recollection of nightmares
through memories but as hard as the concrete you fall on creates pain consider it the regain of intensity to become greater than that of which sat you out on the bench and just like the army
be all you can be, only this war is within your own self try to flourish inner peace
and allow the victory of re-conquering your mind heart and soul succeed
yes, allow you the freedom of not being imprisoned by dark holes of deception
instead strive, retaliate grasp the life in your life realize the reconnection....
Dear World...
Dear World,
I write to you tonight seeking answers to my present questions
"I love you" seems to be a habit forming expression, do you agree?
Easily released in one's moment of immature emotional confessions
The mask of a lusts aggression to just have another obsession
Answer me this 'cause it seems the meaning of Love is climaxing it's regression
Again....
I write to you, World, not wanting a performed immediate miracle of peace
But is it possible for just one day if selfishness could cease?
We all have our problems day by day it multiplies and increases
Why do your inhabitants find it hard to care for their fellow species?
Prideful outlook focused on skin pigments, financial status', & obesity
Look, World, I don't ask these to be rhetorical nor to bore
But you're filled with crime, hate and war even kids are used to the gore
They make games for them to annihilate for a higher killing score
Your elders don't care looks like the wise aren't wise anymore
Why do we live our days reaching for the glock before closing our doors?
I write these questions, World, 'cause these requests are uncompleted
Tell me why children starve for days, lose sleep & their health is depleted?
Orphanages keep them unkempt and highly mistreated
Abuse is repeated emotionally & physically, give them "prescriptions as needed"
Why does their state of well being continue being unheeded?
Get it? World, fetuses are contaminated & intoxicated by tobacco & cigarettes
Babies obliterated in abortions for the mother wanting to keep her silhouette
Dictated to think a dedicated traditional Muslim represents a terror threat
Even the dollar says "In God We Trust" but it seems people quickly forget
World, I water the ground with my tears, it's brought on ourselves with regrets
So I close this with an apology there's no animosity.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
I write to you tonight seeking answers to my present questions
"I love you" seems to be a habit forming expression, do you agree?
Easily released in one's moment of immature emotional confessions
The mask of a lusts aggression to just have another obsession
Answer me this 'cause it seems the meaning of Love is climaxing it's regression
Again....
I write to you, World, not wanting a performed immediate miracle of peace
But is it possible for just one day if selfishness could cease?
We all have our problems day by day it multiplies and increases
Why do your inhabitants find it hard to care for their fellow species?
Prideful outlook focused on skin pigments, financial status', & obesity
Look, World, I don't ask these to be rhetorical nor to bore
But you're filled with crime, hate and war even kids are used to the gore
They make games for them to annihilate for a higher killing score
Your elders don't care looks like the wise aren't wise anymore
Why do we live our days reaching for the glock before closing our doors?
I write these questions, World, 'cause these requests are uncompleted
Tell me why children starve for days, lose sleep & their health is depleted?
Orphanages keep them unkempt and highly mistreated
Abuse is repeated emotionally & physically, give them "prescriptions as needed"
Why does their state of well being continue being unheeded?
Get it? World, fetuses are contaminated & intoxicated by tobacco & cigarettes
Babies obliterated in abortions for the mother wanting to keep her silhouette
Dictated to think a dedicated traditional Muslim represents a terror threat
Even the dollar says "In God We Trust" but it seems people quickly forget
World, I water the ground with my tears, it's brought on ourselves with regrets
So I close this with an apology there's no animosity.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
To Read A Book
Equality is to equal amongst others the same as the darkness is the night
Caucasian man approaches an African American woman hugs her and holds her tight
Who ever said two races couldn’t join together as one?
And multitudes of cultures couldn’t combine together under the sun?
Reasons are given by comparing human society to a kingdom of animals
We were made with more than just instinct so why is interracial love so unfathomable?
If God took the time to create everyone the same on the inside
Cliché, I know, but can’t we just put the hate & prejudice aside?
Stop basing your “love” on the book covers of physical attraction to proper proportions
Inner beauty never fades, look for feelings & thoughts instead of your current distortions
Take the time to converse and immerse yourselves in diverse interactions
Subtract the adversity and rehearse in your minds the true meaning of emotional satisfaction
We don’t just live for routines but instead it seems we live to love and be loved
To feel wanted and want the care and attention so strong it can only be sent from above
So intense because it is more than just sex and sensual feelings
It’s ones presence in our presence and a building love between two beings
Constant and paced like a river flowing peaceful & serene til it’s destination is in final stages
Let’s allow ourselves to look beyond the initial view of the books cover and read it’s well written pages
Caucasian man approaches an African American woman hugs her and holds her tight
Who ever said two races couldn’t join together as one?
And multitudes of cultures couldn’t combine together under the sun?
Reasons are given by comparing human society to a kingdom of animals
We were made with more than just instinct so why is interracial love so unfathomable?
If God took the time to create everyone the same on the inside
Cliché, I know, but can’t we just put the hate & prejudice aside?
Stop basing your “love” on the book covers of physical attraction to proper proportions
Inner beauty never fades, look for feelings & thoughts instead of your current distortions
Take the time to converse and immerse yourselves in diverse interactions
Subtract the adversity and rehearse in your minds the true meaning of emotional satisfaction
We don’t just live for routines but instead it seems we live to love and be loved
To feel wanted and want the care and attention so strong it can only be sent from above
So intense because it is more than just sex and sensual feelings
It’s ones presence in our presence and a building love between two beings
Constant and paced like a river flowing peaceful & serene til it’s destination is in final stages
Let’s allow ourselves to look beyond the initial view of the books cover and read it’s well written pages
Remember Hip Hop?
I’ma take it old school right quick...Like back when Slick Rick told this story to kids about a boys misfit, and how he stole and ran then tried to shoot some rounds ended up dead his body just hit the ground.
Or how about 2pac and his love for cali, west coast repped it but the east still listened gladly, he talked about LA and serenading the streets teamed up with Dre cause of his sick ass beats, pure poetic talent telling us women to dry our eyes and never let up, things would get easier and told us to keep our head up.
How about Run DMC their flow was perfectly sync’d , saying “Jam Master's gettin loose and D.M.C.'s the king”.
Remember Nas? If he ruled the world everything would be good the sky would be the limit, straight up though all that Nas needed just one mic to kill it.
Biggie, can’t leave him out he’s also one of the best, started out with suicidal thoughts putting his skills to the test, it wasn’t hard to say the verse cause once heard it was a wrap, started with B-I-G P-O-P-P-A like second breath you'd finish with “no info, for the, D-E-A”.
There was a tribe called quest, fresh funky styles best in flows, start with “Here we go yo!” you were wack if not asked ”so what’s the scenario”?
There's a difference 'cause rap just flaunts the fame and glory
Hiphop is free flowing, shows struggle, and actually tells a story
Remember those good ol' days?!
Man that’s when REAL hiphop was played
Or how about 2pac and his love for cali, west coast repped it but the east still listened gladly, he talked about LA and serenading the streets teamed up with Dre cause of his sick ass beats, pure poetic talent telling us women to dry our eyes and never let up, things would get easier and told us to keep our head up.
How about Run DMC their flow was perfectly sync’d , saying “Jam Master's gettin loose and D.M.C.'s the king”.
Remember Nas? If he ruled the world everything would be good the sky would be the limit, straight up though all that Nas needed just one mic to kill it.
Biggie, can’t leave him out he’s also one of the best, started out with suicidal thoughts putting his skills to the test, it wasn’t hard to say the verse cause once heard it was a wrap, started with B-I-G P-O-P-P-A like second breath you'd finish with “no info, for the, D-E-A”.
There was a tribe called quest, fresh funky styles best in flows, start with “Here we go yo!” you were wack if not asked ”so what’s the scenario”?
There's a difference 'cause rap just flaunts the fame and glory
Hiphop is free flowing, shows struggle, and actually tells a story
Remember those good ol' days?!
Man that’s when REAL hiphop was played
Conquer
Long ago I thought you were the friend that I can count on
Long ago I thought I could depend on you to make this frown gone
However now I realize you’re the reasons why my frown spawns
From dusk til dawn I wondered what was wrong with me, why I'm here
But evidently you were the root of my issues and my fears
Now I remember you’re why I shed all those countless tears
It’s ever so clear to me, the pieces are all falling into place
The same time you embraced me you pushed away for some space
And your face is seared into my memory I hate not forgetting
Letting you ruin my life day after day I’m sitting here regretting
Ever wasting my time cause for you I would’ve given my life
Funny how I loved you and tried to work through the strife
Funny how you called me your wife and in you I used to confide
Funny how you tried to manipulate me and slowly killed me inside
Funny how you tried for so long but you didn’t succeed
I now realize and laugh merely at your low self esteem
Look who’s the vulnerable one now, sad and begging in need
Funny how you thought you were invincible now who’s the one that bleeds?
Nervousness is obvious, beads of sweat running down your cheek
Wait, that’s not sweat it seems the outside is just as brittle and weak
As I once was, I’m meek now, but I stand tall and watch you crumble and fall
From down the hall I hear you yelling as your head hit the wall
Now let me see if at all I can remember your monologue right
I’ll look down at you and recite “stop crying, bitch. Just shut up and keep quiet”
Long ago I thought I could depend on you to make this frown gone
However now I realize you’re the reasons why my frown spawns
From dusk til dawn I wondered what was wrong with me, why I'm here
But evidently you were the root of my issues and my fears
Now I remember you’re why I shed all those countless tears
It’s ever so clear to me, the pieces are all falling into place
The same time you embraced me you pushed away for some space
And your face is seared into my memory I hate not forgetting
Letting you ruin my life day after day I’m sitting here regretting
Ever wasting my time cause for you I would’ve given my life
Funny how I loved you and tried to work through the strife
Funny how you called me your wife and in you I used to confide
Funny how you tried to manipulate me and slowly killed me inside
Funny how you tried for so long but you didn’t succeed
I now realize and laugh merely at your low self esteem
Look who’s the vulnerable one now, sad and begging in need
Funny how you thought you were invincible now who’s the one that bleeds?
Nervousness is obvious, beads of sweat running down your cheek
Wait, that’s not sweat it seems the outside is just as brittle and weak
As I once was, I’m meek now, but I stand tall and watch you crumble and fall
From down the hall I hear you yelling as your head hit the wall
Now let me see if at all I can remember your monologue right
I’ll look down at you and recite “stop crying, bitch. Just shut up and keep quiet”
Love...
Four letters as a priceless possession or miniature meaning disregarded disillusions or free flowing feelings with room to grow that not even high vaulted ceilings cripple the appealing nature to which it finds itself in. Blind to what begins and what ends to mend anything love is forever more valuable than any ring placed on the hand of the human being you love...
'Cause love itself is a circling bond exceeding expectations beyond borders built by selfless soldiers inculcating imitations infiltrating with lifeless hearts and souls of disorder no signs of composure...
But showing off the wounds of many moons prior where the love of his life turned to him with words cutting deep like a serrated knife thereafter he waited for sleep to come in countless nights where love to him meant the alcohol and gun by his side. And where am I? …
If a fairy tale love exists how do I find such bliss in this emotional wreck of collisions and slit wrists bleeding out “I once loved truly” and feeding off of “pleasure is beauty” and truthfully …
I'm lost in a maze of contradictions phased by past hurt addictions mixed with a haze of love's aroma inflicted in me to refocus and reclaim my pieces to this puzzle called love. But the tear is still there for fear of another not caring enough to hold a promise like love....
It can be a paradise or hell, now let me clarify collect and tell you how the hardest things in life are the farthest things from your mind to ever be thought upon, but love must be fought upon because it's the reason life offers us more to look forward to, it's not even what I love and who anymore I realize it's just simply I adore you forever more...
'Cause love itself is a circling bond exceeding expectations beyond borders built by selfless soldiers inculcating imitations infiltrating with lifeless hearts and souls of disorder no signs of composure...
But showing off the wounds of many moons prior where the love of his life turned to him with words cutting deep like a serrated knife thereafter he waited for sleep to come in countless nights where love to him meant the alcohol and gun by his side. And where am I? …
If a fairy tale love exists how do I find such bliss in this emotional wreck of collisions and slit wrists bleeding out “I once loved truly” and feeding off of “pleasure is beauty” and truthfully …
I'm lost in a maze of contradictions phased by past hurt addictions mixed with a haze of love's aroma inflicted in me to refocus and reclaim my pieces to this puzzle called love. But the tear is still there for fear of another not caring enough to hold a promise like love....
It can be a paradise or hell, now let me clarify collect and tell you how the hardest things in life are the farthest things from your mind to ever be thought upon, but love must be fought upon because it's the reason life offers us more to look forward to, it's not even what I love and who anymore I realize it's just simply I adore you forever more...
♥ You ♥
I hope you know that I find you irresistible; I’m so infatuated
Simply say ‘hello’ and with words rolled off your tongue I’m persuaded
To love and cherish you because your love is so compelling
My world is you, should us then perish I’ll rewrite our story by telling—
The Universe about our evolving emotions from love to adore
I was and never will be bored -- of you
never thought of who else can take your place
The simple smile upon your face could bring peace to even those that cease --
To love freely and unwillingly.
Untitled and unrestrained I regain strength with the sound of your voice. So appealing. So tender.
So kind it penetrated the minds of even those that refute the thought of love.
I can swear on my soul you’re from above.
An angelic being made human
‘Cause all I’m seeing is you, and
I feel as if heaven is my home
When we're together alone.
You inspire me
To retire the old habits
And only invest in a new addiction of you.
You’re the addition to my future views.
I focus on relapses of being in your arms
My new vice is you
And my new life is us two
True, it might be a dream
But that be the case, don’t wake me
Let my thoughts take me to spots so deep in my heart and in my mind
I will only let time enter to see how pleasant our past and present is.
You’re my obsession
And I contest I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
I only pray that forever stays for always just you and I
Simply say ‘hello’ and with words rolled off your tongue I’m persuaded
To love and cherish you because your love is so compelling
My world is you, should us then perish I’ll rewrite our story by telling—
The Universe about our evolving emotions from love to adore
I was and never will be bored -- of you
never thought of who else can take your place
The simple smile upon your face could bring peace to even those that cease --
To love freely and unwillingly.
Untitled and unrestrained I regain strength with the sound of your voice. So appealing. So tender.
So kind it penetrated the minds of even those that refute the thought of love.
I can swear on my soul you’re from above.
An angelic being made human
‘Cause all I’m seeing is you, and
I feel as if heaven is my home
When we're together alone.
You inspire me
To retire the old habits
And only invest in a new addiction of you.
You’re the addition to my future views.
I focus on relapses of being in your arms
My new vice is you
And my new life is us two
True, it might be a dream
But that be the case, don’t wake me
Let my thoughts take me to spots so deep in my heart and in my mind
I will only let time enter to see how pleasant our past and present is.
You’re my obsession
And I contest I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
I only pray that forever stays for always just you and I
Thoughts of Regret
Wake up to bare feet & barely breathing
One thing on my mind alone, already feening
That white has got me scoring all day & all night
Put up a front, I'm alright but my nod's getting deep not right at all
Lost too many friends to this downfall, I should know better but can't stop
I used to pop pills now I crush pills and get high off them rocks
When I'm high I'm on top but I know my problems inside
Drug possession charges, no lawyer takes pity and a broke addicts side
I'm ashamed, I hide my face and cover up my arms with sleeves
I don't own a home, I share a room with ten addicts damn I wanna leave
Anger motivates me & my thoughts
I look back and regret that codeine I bought
Had just turned 17 with so much planned for my life
I'm not so bright, stuck in denial so why bother to fight
Weakness debilitates what was once my judgment
I WAS strong willed but this drug has me succumbent
In my mind within my highs I know tomorrow might not be mine
I'll sit and cry, then be back in five, shoot up "yea I'll be fine"
One thing on my mind alone, already feening
That white has got me scoring all day & all night
Put up a front, I'm alright but my nod's getting deep not right at all
Lost too many friends to this downfall, I should know better but can't stop
I used to pop pills now I crush pills and get high off them rocks
When I'm high I'm on top but I know my problems inside
Drug possession charges, no lawyer takes pity and a broke addicts side
I'm ashamed, I hide my face and cover up my arms with sleeves
I don't own a home, I share a room with ten addicts damn I wanna leave
Anger motivates me & my thoughts
I look back and regret that codeine I bought
Had just turned 17 with so much planned for my life
I'm not so bright, stuck in denial so why bother to fight
Weakness debilitates what was once my judgment
I WAS strong willed but this drug has me succumbent
In my mind within my highs I know tomorrow might not be mine
I'll sit and cry, then be back in five, shoot up "yea I'll be fine"
Felo-De-Se Mentation
If guilt is a symptom let the ailment befall me
I'm lost without a cause, because my conscience has recalled me
Been through it all, my mind converses with me proudly
Psychotic thoughts I monologue ever so loudly
Listen to my pain, my fears have been released
I watch them die in hell on earth 1 by 1 they all ceased
Killing for the riches & killing for the greed
I'll stand over them as each memory silently bleeds
Your grass may be greener but my grass is black
I've learned to look forward and never look back
What good will it do me if my brain holds all this trauma
This insomnia inducing runaround reproduction of drama
Forget the past
The life I had
I'm beyond mad
Screw being sad
I have no tears
There's no pain here
But I'm in denial
This must be my trial
I fear myself and I fear my life
What it has taught me is struggle and strife
What good will I be if I've never been
Too bad self execution is such a sin....
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
When "looking" looks DESPERATE
Ever notice a certain male (or female) finding someone else attractive? At times it's a simple glance or smile, maybe even a friendly conversation and other times... well other times it's just disgusting.
It can start with smothering or being too upfront. Perhaps you think you're speaking normally, calm, and collected yet your surrounding public (now audience) feels differently. You're ranting and nervous, hyper yet not genuinely energetic; you seem desperate. Not giving the person you're interested room to talk or space to breathe looks like you haven't had an encounter with the opposite sex in ages (and maybe you haven't) and you certainly won't get another one if that continues into a habit. Learn to give an arm length AT LEAST of space. Close enough to hear one another but not so close they feel claustrophobic.
Some people are also too sexual. There's nothing wrong with having a sense of self and feeling sexy, but when it crosses the line to looking like a sex addict trying to score, you definitely aren't viewed as sexy, but more like you belong in a brothel. Yet we all know it's not just manners and body language that can ruin an impression on a "potential date", it's also the way one dresses. Your attire is KEY in ANY first impression. It shows your mood, outlook, sense of class, and even organizational skills all in the form of fashion you use.
Men, wearing worn jeans or ripped shirts is only hot if you're working on a car or mowing the lawn not going out to "chill". Dress occasion appropriate ALWAYS. Women, stop wearing over revealing clothes. A sexy-conservative look leaves enough to the imagination, while not leaving everything to the naked eye. All in all, dress occasion appropriate ALWAYS.
How To Avoid Looking Desperate
3. Try to look like you are doing something. Or, try to actually do something. Do not get caught staring at them for long periods of time. You can look desperate that way as well as seem a little creepy.
4. No stalking!!! If you listen to one thing out of all of these it is this one. They could become afraid of you and they probably will never even want to talk to you let alone like you.
It can start with smothering or being too upfront. Perhaps you think you're speaking normally, calm, and collected yet your surrounding public (now audience) feels differently. You're ranting and nervous, hyper yet not genuinely energetic; you seem desperate. Not giving the person you're interested room to talk or space to breathe looks like you haven't had an encounter with the opposite sex in ages (and maybe you haven't) and you certainly won't get another one if that continues into a habit. Learn to give an arm length AT LEAST of space. Close enough to hear one another but not so close they feel claustrophobic.
Some people are also too sexual. There's nothing wrong with having a sense of self and feeling sexy, but when it crosses the line to looking like a sex addict trying to score, you definitely aren't viewed as sexy, but more like you belong in a brothel. Yet we all know it's not just manners and body language that can ruin an impression on a "potential date", it's also the way one dresses. Your attire is KEY in ANY first impression. It shows your mood, outlook, sense of class, and even organizational skills all in the form of fashion you use.
Men, wearing worn jeans or ripped shirts is only hot if you're working on a car or mowing the lawn not going out to "chill". Dress occasion appropriate ALWAYS. Women, stop wearing over revealing clothes. A sexy-conservative look leaves enough to the imagination, while not leaving everything to the naked eye. All in all, dress occasion appropriate ALWAYS.
When you're single you want to find someone that compliments YOU and who you really are so that a relationship can build up from things you two have in common not from you trying hard and impressing them with BS stories. Therefore gathered from different sites here are the top 5 picks on:
How To Avoid Looking Desperate
- Don't seem like you are doing too much. If you are doing a lot of things to get that person to pay attention to you, in more ways than one you will look desperate.
3. Try to look like you are doing something. Or, try to actually do something. Do not get caught staring at them for long periods of time. You can look desperate that way as well as seem a little creepy.
4. No stalking!!! If you listen to one thing out of all of these it is this one. They could become afraid of you and they probably will never even want to talk to you let alone like you.
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